1 Admit the problem
Three finance bros in a row?
This is an intervention.
NYU’S WORST IDEA SINCE YOUR EX
Your type sucks.
You know it. Your friends know it.
Date someone they’d hate.
Same tuition. Nothing else in common.
Join 782 students who also have terrible taste. Peer pressure is a valid reason.
18+ · NYU · Quiz preview
WASHINGTON SQUARE PARK
A terrible plan.
2 Try the problem’s opposite
He has a Bloomberg terminal.
She has a Letterboxd problem.
3 Go somewhere tragic
Hale and Hearty. Dress like it’s Carbone.
4 Report back
Either you make out
or the group chat eats.
NOW CASTING · ALL OF NYU
The usual suspects.
Tap anyone. They will overshare.
Russ has a five-year plan.
Dana has a twelve-minute film.
THE DATING POOL IS A PETRI DISH
You’ve dated
this person.
Different name. Same fucking vest.
YOUR TYPE
he’s math and econ
he said it like that was supposed to narrow it down
STERN
he said “so basically”
40 minutes later you know everything about his roommate’s startup
TISCH
told him to dress nice for our first date
he said it’s a “devised piece”
NYU STARBUCKS
first date at the nyu starbucks
11 guys in quarter zips yelling about nvidia
BOBST, SUNDAY
3 hours into the “let’s study together” date
zero pages read. you now know his ex’s middle name
DINNER IS ON HIM
his card declined
so he asked if they take dining dollars. we were at carbone
It gets worse.
WRITING THE ESSAY
peer reviewed his “we need to talk” text
3/10. weak thesis. no sources for “you changed”
THE ELEVATOR
him describing your night on speakerphone in the lipton elevator
floor 9 gave it 4 stars
THE AFTERS
“wanna come up?”
sure. give me 45 minutes, two forms of id and a guest pass
THE TALKING STAGE
he’s not looking for anything serious until he gets an offer
he’s a freshman
BOBST PRINTERS
date idea: harry styles fanfic at the bobst printers
split the printing allowance. 400 pages each. hold hands at the stapler
COMMON GROUND
the only thing we have in common is we both hate it here
honestly that’s enough
ADMISSIONS
beat a single-digit acceptance rate
still left on delivered
THE CHECK
he offered to pay
in venmo requests. itemized. with emojis
Stop dating
the whole shelf.
Your friends will have questions.
“Wait. HIM?”
💼Russ,
×Russ,
Stern
“What's the ROI?”
🎬Dana,
Dana,
Tisch
“Everyone dies on page one.”
HE NETWORKS. SHE CALLS IT PERFORMANCE ART.
something.
🪩One more
×One more
afterparty
“The night's still young.”
📚One more
One more
chapter
“It's literally 9:30.”
THEY WILL BOTH SAY “I CAN FIX THEM.”
will object.
A romantic evening at
Hale and Hearty.
Black tie. Plastic spoon.
Starbucks.
Market open.
Order a latte.
Get pitched a startup.
Downstein.
Dress formal.
“I know a place.”
The place takes meal swipes.
Smut night
at Bobst.
Harry Styles. 2,000 pages.
That printing credit won’t spend itself.
Your ex
has clones.
Bad taste. Basic manners.
NYU students.
18 and over.
Be a menace.
Take a no.
First date.
Somewhere public.
“Are you serious?”
Wait, am I supposed to hate my date?
Their major? Maybe. Them? Ideally less by the end. We want to put people who’d normally ignore each other across a very unimpressive table.
Why would I do this?
Because “my usual type” keeps ending with a 2 a.m. debrief in your roommate’s bed.
Can I actually get matched?
Not yet. The quiz works; real matching isn’t live. You’re getting a personality result, not a person.
Are you going to ignore my dealbreakers?
No. Different taste in music is funny. Ignoring who you want to date is not.
What happens to my answers?
They stay in this tab. Close it and they’re gone. No account, no emails.
YOUR ROOMMATE CANNOT SAVE YOU.